i bet you know about "Before I Die I Want To..." site. well if you don't know yet, it's a site with full of polaroid shoots of random people and they write on their own polaroid of their wish before they die. what a beautiful thing! really. if i have a polaroid camera, i want to participate with them. unfortunately i only got one fuji instax, which mean i can't participate. because, their first inspiration factor is "the 'death' of the polaroid' cause by ... the prevalence of digital photography, Polaroid announced its discontinuation of products, or in other words, its “death.” Film will be sold until the current inventory is out, which is projected to be 2009. No more cameras are being made. yeah, and even i have a Polaroid camera, i can't have any shoot of it cause the overprice of Polaroid film, hiks.

maybe if i already get a job, every month or twice a month i will buy a box of instax film and having a project with it. well, this lately i don't have enough money to have, buy, and pay something outer the main things. i have 3 rolls of unprocessed film and my instax left a film that i haven't use yet cause when i use that last, i must have the new one.

God, please .. make Polaroid film get cheaper, instax film get cheapest, and money always fly around me.

i don't know how many posts about me and my laki, and i don't care. i can post anything i like and i want, rite? well, tonight i just miss my laki so fucking much. i just having little bad feeling with him few hours ago. but then he explained it and ok i understand. understand and make me feeling guilty. i just get so selfish. yeah, i'm selfish everyone. my laki always try to visit me in Jakarta, even his 'pocket-things' didn't allowed him to ask me out, but i never visit him in Bandung. i only got 2 times, a year ago and when his graduation day. call me selfish, but not at all please. there were much reason why i couldn't visit him. one of them is my mom's worry. well, when mom get worry, i can't do anything except granted her.

with this post, i wanna say ... "i'm sorry" a big sorry. i wasn't know how is your real condition this lately. i just thought that you were having fun with your friend and i'm jealous with it. you can play with them and hang out with them. but with me, you can't, and i'm obviously jealous. i was mad with you. but after few-hours-ago-phone-call i just realize and understand how's you now. i know what you worry about and it really makes me wanna drop one tear (not cry, please). i know how is your feeling with all the problems and troubles you have in now and it really makes me wanna be there, beside you and give you a little touch to cheer you up. but i'm sorry i'm not there. but soon i wanna be there and i will.

i know that you hate surprise (yes, he hate surprise). and i couldn't do surprise (yes, i'm totally a bad-surpriser). but, one day i will make a surprise that make you unhate surprise and make me could do successful surprise. i try and i will.

my 21 months, i love you. really, i do. i don't really puzzled the future things. if i can make it with you, i make it. but if we can't, yeah ... there must be another better.

love, your Allie ...

21 months
not quite long, not quite short
for what it's worth, i love you

graham coxon

man, i love you! you absolutely gorgeous and brilliant. geez. i don't know what to do. i'm planning to make more lines like what my course told me. "better make more lines and your skill will get better" okay. i will try.

totally yeeeaaaaas. this is not my year. i have a lot of trouble for this year. started from this year's January until now. i feel bad. really bad. i missed everything i love whereas i said i will die-hard to get on it. hiks ... but i couldn't. God, please ... next year will be better than this year. i get what i want and what i want is happy for me.

Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See the life I've had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

- The Smiths

And you search your heart // And you search your heart // And you search your // I just wanna tell you // I don't know why // If you find the answer // I'll be inside // Arranging time

You won't find another dummy wait for you // So don't hate the one who lives for you // Don't blame him for your trouble

And you search your heart // And you search your heart

I don't need the answer // I just don't know // If you'd find it one day // I know that your strength is gone // And you are shattered

Don't make me for I live for you (live for you) // Don't make me do things you want to // Don't blame me for your trouble

Once you know, once your over the top of the hill // Your whole life ain't no supermarket store // And you know this // And it shows // And it shows // Yeah yeah yeah yeha

So don't blame the boy who is there for you // Don't make him do things you want to // Don't blame him for your trouble // Don't hate him for your trouble // Don't blame him for your ooh

And you search your heart // And you search your heart // And you search your


i don't know what to do. i'm sick and absent for today in my exam's week. so i have to appendix today's exams, sociology and bahasa. and sorry for my ESP group, we have backed our shoot for last task because i'm sick. totally sorry. on the end of this week i planned to attend Klactic Birthday in Langsat. but i'm not even sure i could go there, but i hope i can. i'm over crazy now, my doctor said that "you must be stress out, your blood pressure is on the low one" yeah i undoubt that. for this few weeks i'm trully a stressful-man. hiks. all i need is finish all my tasks and holiday. pleeeeaaasseee. and i hope, if UN still exist, please, only math, english, and bahasa. because i saw the date of UN for SHS was only 3 days on 17 - 19 March, meanwhile last year was 5 days. God, please, lighten 2010's encumbrance.

one in a million

Man, i love you too!

quickie :
tryout (and afraid that the result will say i have to choose literature), next Sunday it's my first day class of draw-course, and i'm going to make new playlist to hear :)

"You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime"
- Bosson

I don’t know you.. I don’t know you
I don’t know you who is standing next to me
And I don’t care about all the things you do

I love you.. I love you
I love you who is looking back to me
I love you oh.. maybe .. baby it’s you

Baby It's You - Endah N Rhesa